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We’ll begin with a bunch of the jokes that are now circulating in West Marin:
• Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
• My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”
• I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
• I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me
• Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.
• I really don’t mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.
• If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed; we’re having a staff meeting.
• Life is too short to waste time matching socks.
• A dog accepts you as the boss… a cat wants to see your resume.
• I thought growing old would take longer.
• At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
• The officer said, “You drinking?” I said, “You buying?” We just laughed and laughed…. I need bail money.
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The following sounds like a joke, but it’s really a news item from The New York Daily News and occurred in the State of Washington on April 19:
“Washington firefighters rescued a woman after she fell headfirst into an outhouse toilet last week.
“The incident occurred at Mount Walker as the woman attempted to grab her phone, which she dropped into the toilet during an outing last Tuesday, the Brinnon Fire Department said.
“The department’s chief says the woman took apart the toilet seat and tied dog leashes to herself as she went to reach for the phone.
“They didn’t work very well, and in she went,” said Chief Tim Manly…. “After falling in, the woman grabbed her phone and managed to contact authorities, who saved her.
“‘I imagine that she was probably very fortunate,’ Manly said. ‘I don’t have any experience with that kind of a rescue, except for now, but I know that is not a good place to be.’
“Mount Walker is in the Olympic National Forest, which is about 55 miles northwest of Seattle.”