{"id":38306,"date":"2022-04-25T17:48:23","date_gmt":"2022-04-26T01:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sparselysageandtimely.com\/blog\/?p=38306"},"modified":"2022-04-26T19:39:32","modified_gmt":"2022-04-27T03:39:32","slug":"jokes-and-a-messy-true-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/?p=38306","title":{"rendered":"Jokes and a messy true story"},"content":{"rendered":"

Caveat lectorem: When readers submit comments, they are asked if they want to receive an email alert with a link to new postings on this blog. A number of people have said they do. Thank you. The link is created the moment a posting goes online. Readers who find their way here through that link can see an updated version by simply clicking on the headline above the posting.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

We’ll begin with a bunch of the jokes<\/strong> that are now circulating in West Marin:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Wi-fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.<\/p>\n

\u2022 My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffers from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”<\/p>\n

\u2022 I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.<\/p>\n

\u2022 I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me<\/p>\n

\u2022 Camping: where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.<\/p>\n

\u2022 I really don’t mind getting old, but my body is having a major fit.<\/p>\n

\u2022 If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I’m self-employed; we’re having a staff meeting.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Life is too short to waste time matching socks.<\/p>\n

\u2022 A dog accepts you as the boss… a cat wants to see your resume.<\/p>\n

\u2022 I thought growing old would take longer.<\/p>\n

\u2022 At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.<\/p>\n

\u2022 The officer said, “You drinking?” I said, “You buying?” We just laughed and laughed…. I need bail money.<\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The following sounds like a joke,<\/strong> but it’s really a news item from\u00a0The New York Daily News<\/em> and occurred in the State of Washington on April 19:<\/p>\n

“Washington firefighters rescued a woman after she fell headfirst into an outhouse toilet last week.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

“The incident occurred at Mount Walker as the woman attempted to grab her phone, which she dropped into the toilet during an outing last Tuesday, the Brinnon Fire Department said.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

“The department\u2019s chief says the woman took apart the toilet seat and tied dog leashes to herself as she went to reach for the phone.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey didn\u2019t work very well, and in she went,\u201d said Chief Tim Manly…. “After falling in, the woman grabbed her phone and managed to contact authorities, who saved her.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

“‘I imagine that she was probably very fortunate,’ Manly said. ‘I don\u2019t have any experience with that kind of a rescue, except for now, but I know that is not a good place to be.’<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n

“Mount Walker is in the Olympic National Forest, which is about 55 miles northwest of Seattle.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\u00a0<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Caveat lectorem: When readers submit comments, they are asked if they want to receive an email alert with a link to new postings on this blog. A number of people have said they do. Thank you. The link is created the moment a posting goes online. Readers who find their way here through that link […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":623,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[1447,1525],"class_list":["post-38306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-news","tag-humor","tag-rescue-from-outhouse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/623"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=38306"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38306\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38316,"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38306\/revisions\/38316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=38306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=38306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sparselysageandtimely.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=38306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}